THE ELEVEN RULES OF SATANISM

The Eleven Rules of Satanism 

Sixberty manson  

Church of Satan reverend  explains why he has no interest in worshipping the devil?

Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

Do not harm little children.

Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

THE DEVIL AND WITCHES

The Devil and Hell 

SIXBERTY MANSON 

Perhaps the most lasting images of the Devil are associated with Hell, which the Bible refers to as a place of everlasting fire prepared for the Devil and his angels. Still, the Bible doesn’t state the Devil will reign over hell, just that he’ll eventually be banished there.

The idea that the Devil governs hell may have come from the poem by Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy, published in the early fourteenth century. In it, God created hell when he threw the Devil and his demons out of Heaven with such power they created an enormous hole in the center of the earth.

In his poem, Dante portrayed the Devil as a grotesque, winged creature with three faces—each chewing on a devious sinner—whose wings blew freezing cold winds throughout hell’s domain.

The Bible doesn’t describe the Devil in detail. Early artistic interpretations of The Divine Comedy featuring shocking images of the Devil and his demons inflicting almost unimaginable human suffering only emboldened people’s thoughts about hell and the Devil.

And by the end of the Middle Ages, the Devil had taken on the appearance of the horned, trident-wielding figure with a tail that has endured to modern times.

The Devil and Witches 

Fear of the Devil is at least partially responsible for the witchcraft hysteria of Europe and New England in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries. Protestants and Catholics accused many people of practicing witchcraft and making deals with the Devil.

The Puritans living in New England’s early colonies were petrified of the Devil. They believed he gave powers to witches to those faithful to him. This fear gave rise to the infamous Salem Witch Trials in Salem, Massachusetts.

The Puritan’s strict lifestyle, their fear of outsiders, and their terror of so-called “Devil’s magic” led them to accuse at least 200 people of witchcraft between 1692 and 1693—twenty of the accused were executed.

The Devil in Modern Times 

Religious translations are often controversial. There’s usually some degree of dissent on how to interpret early texts, and texts about the Devil are no exception.

Even so, throughout history, the Devil’s reputation as an evil-doer hasn’t changed much. Most Christians still believe he’s literally transformed the world and is responsible for much of the world’s corruption and chaos.

Not all religions shun the Devil, though. People of the Church of Satan, known as Satanists, don’t worship the Devil, but embrace him as a symbol of atheism, pride and liberty, among other things. Another type of Satanists, theistic Satanists, worship the Devil as a deity. They may practice Satanic rituals or even make Satanic pacts.

THE DEVIL

THE DEVIL

(By Sixberty Manson)

The Devil, also referred to as Satan, is best known as the nemesis of good people everywhere. His image and story have evolved over the years, but this malevolent being—and his legion of demons—continue to strike fear in people from all walks of life as the antithesis of all things good.

The Devil in the Bible 

Although the Devil is present in some form in many religions and can be compared to some mythological gods, he’s arguably best known for his role in Christianity. In modern biblical translations, the Devil is the adversary of God and God’s people.

It’s commonly thought that the Devil first showed up in the Bible in the book of Genesis as the serpent who convinced Eve—who then convinced Adam—to eat forbidden fruit from the “tree of the knowledge” in the Garden of Eden. As the story goes, after Eve fell for the Devil’s conniving ways, she and Adam were banished from the Garden of Eden and doomed to mortality.

Many Christians believe the Devil was once a beautiful angel named Lucifer who defied God and fell from grace. This assumption is often based the book of Isaiah in the Bible which says, “How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations.”

Devil Names 

Some biblical scholars, however, claim Lucifer isn’t a proper name but a descriptive phrase meaning “morning star.” Still, the name stuck and the Devil is often referred to as Lucifer.

Names for the Devil are numerous: Besides Lucifer, he may be referred to as the Prince of Darkness, Beelzebub, Mephistopheles, Lord of the Flies, the Antichrist, Father of Lies, Moloch or simply Satan.

The book of Ezekiel includes another Biblical passage Christians refer to as proof of the Devil’s existence. It admonishes the greedy King of Tyre but also refers to the king as a cherub who was once in the Garden of Eden. As a result, some Bible translators believe the King of Tyre was a personification of the Devil.

The Devil make more appearances in the Bible, especially in the New Testament. Jesus and many of his apostles warned people to stay alert for the Devil’s cunning enticements that would lead them to ruin. And it was the Devil who tempted Jesus in the wilderness to “fall down and worship him” in exchange for riches and glory.

The Devil in Other Religions 

Most other religions and cultures teach of an evil being who roams the earth wreaking havoc and fighting against the forces of good. In Islam, the devil is known as Shaytan and, like the Devil in Christianity, is also thought to have rebelled against God. In Judaism, Satan is a verb and generally refers to a difficulty or temptation to overcome instead of a literal being.

In Buddhism, Maara is the demon that tempted Buddha away from his path of enlightenment. Like Christianity’s Jesus resisted the Devil, Buddha also resisted temptation and defeated Maara.

In people of almost any religion or even in those who don’t follow a religion, the Devil is almost always synonymous with fear, punishment, negativity and immorality.

SPECTRUM OF MEANING

                       SPECTRUM OF MEANING 

                                                          By  SIXBERTY MANSON

There are no “good” cards or “bad” cards; they all have a spectrum of meaning.  Here are some thoughts about positive aspects of a card that is typically seen as being negative.

In our culture the word “devil” has such a universally bad rap that this card is exceptionally hard for most people to interpret in anything other than a negative way.  However, like any other card, it can come up in a reading in a positive position such as “What can help you” or “What is the benefit of this situation” … so what do you do then?

To consider this question adequately, we need to explore the wide range of implications for the Devil card.  For instance, we need to deal with the obvious symbols of the Devil, Hell, and demons in general.  There are also this card’s metaphorical implications of materialism, addictions, and obsession.  We need to see how these meanings can lead us to positive interpretations for this card.  The easy way out is to say that this card presents excellent advice through the warnings of bad examples.  There is, of course, more, as we shall see.  In addition, though, this card does have the positive traditional implications of humor and mirth, and it is associated with Capricorn, which is about ambition and hard work.  We’ll look at those interpretations as well.

THE DEVIL

Consider all the famous phrases and proverbs that incorporate the word “Devil” (along with variations on it and associated terms, such as demons).  Here are a few:

* The Devil made me do it.
* Playing Devil’s advocate
* Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t
* The Devil is in the details.
* Give the devil his due. (This means that we should admit the good qualities of even a bad or undeserving person.) [Ref: William Shakespeare, Henry IV, Part I, Act I, scene 2.]
*  The creative urge is the demon that will not accept anything second rate. — Agnes de Mille
* Have a “devil may care” attitude!

Hell:

Consider all the famous phrases and proverbs that incorporate the word “Hell”.  Here are a few:

* The road to hell is paved with good intentions. (Paraphrased from Bernard of Clairvaux)
* When you’re going through Hell, keep going. — Winston Churchill
* The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. — John Milton
* There will be hell to pay.

Again, these sayings suggest interpretations for this card that may be good advice (ex: “When you’re going through Hell, keep going.”) or at least somewhat neutral (ex: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”).

Demons:

As noted above, we often project our demons onto others.  As Rumi said, “Many of the faults you see in others are your own nature reflected in them.”  Thus this card contains the helpful advice that we can discover what our faults are by seeing what really pisses us off about other people. This is valuable because you can’t fix a fault if you don’t know you have it.  To help your understanding of a message like this, look to the surrounding cards in the reading to see what the issues may be that need to be addressed.  For example, if there are a lot of Pentacle cards around, it may be financial issues.  If cups, maybe relationship issues.

Similarly, the Devil card contains the advice to face our demons head on. Indeed, they are often more in our heads than in our lives, and it helps to realize that and come to grips with it.  On the other hand, this card also contains a warning about running around fighting the demons of the world.  As Friedrich Nietzsche said, “Be careful when you fight monsters, lest you become one.”

These sayings suggest interpretations for this card that may be good advice (ex: “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.”) or at least neutral (ex: “Playing Devil’s advocate”).

Consider also that Christianity incorporated aspects of Dionysus, Pan, and Cernunnos—the old gods of earthiness, fruitfulness and sensuality—into the essence of the Devil.  Sometimes we should see the more positive traits of these old gods still lurking around in the Devil card.  This association says that there is also freedom, earthiness, sensuality, and spontaneity in the Devil card.

This card may also indicate someone who we consider to be evil, in which case we should look deeper, for those who we see in that way are often merely reflecting our own shadow issues.  We don’t want to look at that part of our subconscious that is our shadow, so we project it onto others.  And since we don’t want to acknowledge it in ourselves, we are repelled by those shadow traits when we see them in other peoples precisely because we are trying to deny them in ourselves.  So this card, when it seems to be indicating someone else in your life, may be saying that this person is one of your best teachers.  They are a mirror showing you what you need to work on in yourself.  They are a blessing in disguise, for they show you where you need to work on yourself.  As a corollary to this interpretation, the Devil card also holds the advice to deal with your own demons before you try to condemn them in others.

The power of our shadow

Again, the Devil card can represent our shadow issues.  It advises us to face them, and in doing so, we can find great power hidden there.  There is a lot of strength in our shadow, strength that we cannot effectively access until we face these issues and own up to them.  Sometimes our addictions and obsessions with things like food, drugs, or personal relationships imply that we are in touch with a great deal of energy that our selfish, self-centered ego wants to misdirect inward (i.e., selfishly).  And so this card’s advice may be to understand that power and then find a positive way to redirect it.  Truly, to reach enlightenment, we have to see who we are without condemning ourselves; we have to discover, face, and integrate our unconscious shadow into our consciousness and thereby become a whole person.

Temptation:

The Devil is traditionally seen as the source of temptation, which is thus a concept integral to this card.  The following is a discussion of temptation from my book, The Soul’s Journey:

NJE YA BOX ( KUCHEPUKA)

OUTSIDE BOX (NJE YA BOX)
KUCHEPUKA 
By Sixberty Manson 

Moral standard za ndoa sasa zimeshuka kiasi kwamba
si ajabu tena kuona bibi harusi na vazi la harusi huku ana mimba kubwa!

Karibu watu wote wanaokamatwa na suala la kutokuwa waaminifu katika ndoa zao hukubali kwamba ni kweli wamekosea na wengine husema ni shetani tu aliwaingia.
Tafiti zinaonesha kwamba katika jamii yoyote duniani asilimia 25 ya wanaume huchepuka nje ya ndoa zao na asilimia 10 ya wanawake hukiri kuchepuka kwenye ndoa zao hii haina maana wanandoa wenzao hujua suala ni kwamba huwa wanakiri kwamba wamewahi kutoka nje ya ndoa zao.

NINI HUSABABISHA WENGI KUCHEPUKA

Kutoridhika na ndoa zao idara zote na kuanza kutafuta mtu wa nje ili kuridhishwa.

Matatizo ya familia.
Wengine hujikuta amempenda mtu mwingine.

Kutengana kwa muda mrefu mume na mke inaweza kuwa masomo au kazi nk.

Kushuka kwa kiwango cha kiroho cha wanandoa.
Kuhitaji kuridhishwa zaidi kimapenzi; kuna watu wana libido la ajabu!
Kutafuta Kujiamini na kutambuliwa kwamba yeye ni nani katika jamii
Kuikata kweli ya Neno la Mungu.

Ukaidi na uhuni.
Hitaji la kupendwa baada ya kutelekezwa.
Kuzaliwa mtoto wa kwanza katika ndoa; Feelings za kumpa mume huhamia kwa mtoto na wanandoa hujikuta wapo emotionally distant.


NINI HUSABABISHA WENGI KUGOMA KUCHEPUKA.

Kujitoa kwa ndoa na kulinda ahadi na agano (covenant)
Kuaminiana kwa wanandoa.

Sababu ya dini yaani wokovu (uhusiano binafsi wa mwanandoa na Mungu).

Kuogopa matokeo ya kuchepuka kama vile magonjwa (UKIMWI) na crisis zingine.

Kujifahamu na kukomaa kiakili na Kujiamini.

Kupenda mke na watoto na kuwapa heshima iliyotukuka na kuishi kwa mfano kimatendo na kimaneno.

Uadilifu (moral standard)

Linapokuja suala la ndoa au mahusiano huu usemi wa kingereza usemao “How Far is too Far’ una maana kwamba je, ni namna gani au utajuaje au ni kufanya kitu gani hueleza kwamba hujawa mwaminifu kwa mke wako au mume wako.
Kujua hujawa mwaminifu ni pale kile unafanya au yale unaongea na mwanaume mwingine au mwanamke mwingine huwezi kumwambia mke wako au mume wako.

MFANO
Jeffy ni kijana smart sana kazini na nyumbani na kwa sasa anajiona yupo bored nyumbani hasa kutokana na yale yanayoendelea katika maisha na mkewe Jane.
Hivyo anaamua kutaniana na kujihusisha zaidi na mwanamke anayeitwa Lily ambaye ni mfanyakazi mwenzake ofisini.
Katika kutaniana kwao urafiki unazaliwa na wanajikuta wanakuwa muda mwingi pamojana kuvutiana zaidi; sasa iwe lunch, au kinywaji baada ya muda wa kazi Jeffy yupo na Lily.

Baada ya siku na miezi kadhaa wanajiona karibu zaidi na Jeffy anajikuta anamwambia Lily siri zake za nyumbani na mkewe na Lily naye anamwambia Jeffy siri ambazo hajawahi kumwambia mtu yeyote.
Sasa wakikutana wakiwa wawili ni kupeana kisses na hugs kwa kwenda mbele ingawa bado hawajavuliana nguo.
Yote haya yanapotokea Jeffy hajamweleza mke wake.

Je, Jeffy amekuwa si mwaminifu kwa mke wake? Au kwa ndoa yake?
Je ungekuwa wewe ni Jeffy ungemwambia mke wako huo urafiki na mwanamke Lily?
Au ungekuwa ni mwanamke Lily ambaye umeolewa Ungemwambia mume wako urafiki wako na Jeffy?

KUKOSA UAMINIFU KATIKA NDOA NI NINI?
Kukosa uaminifu katika ndoa ni utendaji unaoanzia ndani ya moyo kuvunja trust na ahadi ya ndoa kimwili, kiakili, kimawazo na kihisia na siri zote za ndoa.
Ni kuvunja agano na pia ni kumsaliti mwenzi wako.

Je, unaweza kujihusisha na mtu mwingine nje ya ndoa kihisia na ukabaki mwaminifu kwa ndoa yako?

Jibu ni hapana kwani ulipokubali kuoana naye ulikubali kwamba mtakuwa mwili mmoja (one flesh); kuwa mwili mmoja ni pamoja na emotions, feelings, mawazo na maisha yote ya ndoa kwa ujumla.
Unatakiwa kuwa kwa mwenzi wako kimawazo na kimwili.

Uzinzi wa emotions upo serious sawa na ule wa kimwili
“Mmesikia kwamba ilinenwa, ‘Usizini'.
Lakini mimi nawaambia: kwamba ye yote amtazamaye mwanamke kwa kumtamani, amekwisha kuzini naye moyoni mwake.
(Mathayo 5:27-28)

Uzinzi ni sehemu ya infidelity ( kukosa uaminifu katika ndoa) infidelity ni kutimiza hitaji la mwili na hisia nje ya ndoa wakati adultery ni sex nje ya ndoa.

Kama ninyi ni wachumba na mmoja si mwaminifu huo unaitwa ni uasherati na ni vizuri kuachana kwani mchumba asiyemwaminifu huja kuwa mwanandoa asiyemwaminifu.

Washauri wa mambo ya ndoa wanafahamu fika kwamba katika matatizo mengi ya wanandoa suala la kukosa uaminifu (infidelity) kawaida ni nusu ya matatizo yote katika ndoa.

Ujue au usijue kwamba kuna kuchepuka metokea katika ndoa yako ukweli unabaki kwamba matokeo ya mwanandoa mmoja kuchepuka nje ya ndoa yake ni mabaya sana kwa yeye mwenyewe, ndoa yake na huweza kuleta crisis kubwa ya familia na hata jamii kama si taifa.
Fikiria suala la UKIMWI tu.

VITUKO VYA KUCHEPUKA NJE YA NDOA.

Kawaida mwanandoa anayechepuka akikamatwa na kupewa talaka mara nyingi hawezi kuoana na yule aliyekamatwa naye.
Hivyo kama upo kwenye affair na mwanaume wa mtu au mke wa mtu kumbuka kwamba hupati point yoyote au kukuongezea uwezekano wa yeye kuoana na wewe ikitokea amepata talaka.

Affair ni dalili za huzuni iliyopo kwa wanandoa na maana yake mmoja anakosa hisia sahihi kwa mwenzake na matokeo yake husukumwa kuchepuka nje na akishachepuka huongeza matatizo mengine zaidi ya ndoa kama vile kuchelewa kurudi nyumbani, matumizi ya pesa na magonjwa.

Si sahihi kwamba kuwa na affair ni kupata great sex, kutoka nje ni vibaya kwa sababu ni kweli kwenye ndoa kuna great sex na "we need to spread the word" kwamba kwenye ndoa sex ni tamu zaidi.

Si kweli kwamba mwanandoa anayechepuka hufuata mwanamke mrembo zaidi kuliko aliyekwenye ndoa yake au mwanaume maridadi zaidi kuliko aliye kwenye ndoa yake, wengi huvutwa na feelings zile wanakosa ndani ya ndoa zao.

Affair nyingi zina base kwenye urafiki na kuungana kihisia na sharing ya siri na feelings mbalimbali na wakati mwingine sex huwa si sababu ya kuwa na affair bali urafiki wa karibu kwa jinsia tofauti.

Tamaduni nyingi humwangalia vibaya mwanamke kuliko mwanaume linapokuja suala la mwanandoa kuchepuka nje.

Kubwa zaidi ni kwamba uwezekano wa kutolewa talaka ni pale mwanamke akionekana ametoka nje ya ndoa (cheating) kuliko mwanaume akitoka nje ya ndoa.

DALILI KWAMBA ANACHEPUKA.

Dalili za mwanaume anayechepuka

1. ANATUMIA MUDA MWINGI NJE NA NYUMBANI
Huwezi kuwatumikia mabwana wawili kwa wakati mmoja na kila mmoja ukampa muda sawa, it is impossible.
Wengi huanza kubadilika na kukwepa kuwepo nyumbani na mke wake hata kabla ya affair (astray).
Mwanaume kutumia muda mwingine nje ya nyumbani haina maana kwamba ana-cheat bali inaweza kuwa dalili kwamba ana cheat hasa kukiwa na dalili zingine.
Hata hivyo ukigundua mapema unaweza kuzuia na kuepuka maumivu ya cheating.
Wakati mwingine “hawa wanaume” huwafunga kamba wake zao kwamba
“Nikitaka kutoka nje, naweza hata muda wa kawaida hivyo nikichelewa haina maana na-cheat”
uwe makini na huo usemi kwani ukweli ni kwamba wanaume wengi hutumia muda wa ziada na si muda wa kazi kufanya cheating zao.
Ukiona mume ana dalili za kukwepa kuwepo nyumbani kama ilivyokuwa kawaida, basi inabidi uwe makini na kuchunguza kujua nini kinaendelea.

NINI CHA KUFANYA:
Ni vizuri kukaa pamoja na kujadili pamoja kuangalia kama kuna issues ambazo haridhiki nazo zirekebishwe haraka ili arudi kwenye mstari.

Pia jiulize:
Je, hapo nyumbani kuna amani, heshima, upendo, na utulivu?
Na je, namna unaongea na mume wako kuna respect? Au ni kulalamika, hasira, huzuni na yeye anajiona ni failure na loser?
Inawezekana huko anaenda kunampa kile anakikosa hapo nyumbani au kwako wewe mke.

2. TENDO LA NDOA MARA CHACHE
Kupunguza kwa kiwango cha sex kati ya mke na mume ni dalili mojawapo kwamba kuna kitu hakipo sahihi na mojawapo inaweza kuwa mume anachepuka kwa “yule mwanamke”.
Pia unaweza kuijua hii dalili mapema na ukazuia huzuni kutokea katika ndoa yako kwa kupiga gia ya reverse kwa kuongeza frequency za sex kati yako na mumeo.
Wapo ambao ni wajanja zaidi ambao huendelea na sex kama kawaida ili wasishtukiwe hata hivyo kutokana na kuwekeza kwa “yule mwanamke” automatically akiwa na mke wake hamu hupungua na matokeo ni kupungua kwa uhitaji na kiwango cha sex hushuka.

NINI CHA KUFANYA:
Kwanza jiulize swali hili:
Je, kiwango cha sex ni mara chache kuliko kawaida? Kama ni chini ya kiwango ni vizuri wewe mwanamke pia kulianzisha uone nini kinatokea.
Kama mwanamke Jitahidi kutengeneza mazingira ambayo yatakufanya usijisikie kuchoka sana na kama inawezekana unaweza kumuomba mume wako kukusaidia kazi ndogondogo za pale nyumbani.
Pia fikiria ni kitu gani unaweza kuongeza (kipya) ili kuimarisha sex na kama inawezekana mnaweza kwenda nje ya hapo nyumbani kwa ajili ya kuwa na intimacy zaidi.

3. ANAANZA KUKUKWEPA WEWE MWENYEWE MKE WAKE
Anaweza kukukwepa kwa njia zile mnatumia kuwasiliana iwe mchana au usiku huanza kupunguza.
Unaweza kujikuta simu hazijibiwi, sms hazipewi majibu na mara simu imefungwa.
Kama ana simu ya mkononi anaanza kutembea nayo hadi anapenda kuoga, anapoi-charge kama ni nyumbani basi ataisimamia kama FBI wanaomsimamia terrorist aliyekamatwa kabla ya kujilipua.
Na kuna simu akiipokea No matter what ataenda kuongelea nje au kwenye uchochoro wowote.
Kama upo makini utajua tu something is not right!
Kikubwa zaidi hapendi kuwa na wewe “closer” kitendo hiki hufanya muwe mbali kihisia.

NINI CHA KUFANYA:
Jaribu kuchunguza kama simu unazompigia sinamsumbua kazini au ni jeuri yake tu na ukorofi kwa sababu ya “yule mwanamke”
Ongea naye namna ya kuwa na muda pamoja kwa kila wiki.
Wakati mwingine mpigie simu ya kumpa appreciation kwa ajili ya kitu chochote amefanya badala ya simu za kulalamika na kumfanya ajione failure na loser.
Kama una hints chunguza simu yake ya mkononi na kama huna hints achana nayo kwani hakuna mwanaume anapenda kutembea huku amefugwa video camera usoni kuchunguzwa kila kona anayopita.

4. ANAKUWA CRITICAL
Alikuwa anapenda mapishi yako, unavyoonekana (sura na maumbile), mapenzi yako, namna unapenda bajeti; ghafla from nowhere anaanza kulalamika na kukulaumu kwa kila unachofanya.
Inawezekana tatizo ni yule mwanamke!
Kiti kidogo kikikosewa inakuwa kama kapatia sababu ya kuanzisha mgogoro au vita ya tatu ya dunia.
Wakati mwingine anaweza kuwa mwonezi.

NINI KIFANYIKE:
Jadili kwa nini mume wako anakuwa critical na wewe muulize kwa upendo bila wewe kuwa critical pia.
Pia jadili kujua tatizo lipo wapi ili lirekebishwe huku wote mkiwa positive.

NINI MWANAMKE UHITAJI?

NINI MWANAMKE UHITAJI?

Naitwa sixberty Manson 

Kwa maoni na ushauri : 0714 823432

Ili Mke awe available kwa mume kimwili na kiroho inampasa mume awe na sifa zifuatazo:

Ukaribu, uwazi katika mambo yake, anayeeleweka, mtu wa amani, anayempa uhakika mke kwamba ni yeye peke yake ndiye anapendwa na mume wake na pia kumpa uhakika kwamba yeye ni mwanamke mwenye sifa anazozipenda kimwili (beauty) na kiroho.

Je, unawezaje kuwa mume ambaye mke anakuelewa?

Ili mke akuelewe mume unahitaji kutumia secret weapon ya sikio lako.
Kumsikiliza tu mke huweza kuonesha kwake kwamba umemuelewa kuliko hata kabla hajamaliza kuongea wewe unamkatiza na kusema ulikuwa unajua anataka kusema kitu gani.

Tofauti kubwa ya mwanamke na mwanaume ni kwamba mwanaume kawaida yupo wired kusikilizwa na si kusikiliza, na mara nyingi mwanaume hupenda kutatua tatizo au matatizo au kutoa jibu kwa ajili ya tatizo lolote, hivyo anapoongea na mke wake kwa kutomfahamu anakuwa na haraka ya kutaka kutoa majibu badala ya kusikiliza tu.

Narudia tena;
Si mara zote mwanamke anapouliza swali au kukwambia kitu anahitaji majibu, mara nyingi anakuwa katika harakati ya kujihusanisha (connection) na wewe na anachohitaji ni sikio lako tu na si namna ya kupata majibu.
Unachotakiwa kufanya ni kumsikiliza na kushiriki katika kuzungumzia hiyo shida yake na kuliona kama tatizo lenu wote.

Mwanamke huhitaji mtu wa kumsikiliza tu na sikio lako wewe mume ndilo analihitaji na si uwezo wako wa kutatua tatizo.
Ukimsikiliza, atajisikia vizuri tofauti na ukirukia kukatiza kile anaongea au kuanza kupendekeza solutions kwa kile anakwambia.

Wanaume kujitahidi kutoa solutions za kile mke anaongea au hata kukatiza kile anaongea kwa mume kujifanya anajua mke alitoka kuongea kitu gani ni moja ya matatizo sugu ya kwenye ndoa.
Hata kama wewe ni mwanaume maarufu kutatua matatizo ya wanaume wenzako bado ukiwa na mke wako unatakiwa kumsikiliza tu na sikio lako hadi aridhike.

USALITI WA NDOA

MPENZI  msomaji wangu Naitwa sixberty Manson 

karibu katika safu  ya saikolojia leo, kasi ya kusalitiana kwa wapenzi(wanandoa) wengi siku hizi imekuwa ikiongezeka kila kukicha kiasi kwamba unapoingia katika uhusiano wa kimapenzi unahisi kama unaingia kwenye matatizo makubwa na hii ni sababu watu siyo waaminifu kabisa kwa wapenzi wao. Unaweza kuwa na mpenzi wako ambaye kila mnapoonana anakueleza kuwa, hawezi kukusaliti na atakuwa na wewe katika shida na raha siku zote. 

wapenzi waliogombana

Utafit wa wanasaikolojia umebani uhaminifu,nin silaha kubwa kwa wanandoa (wapenzi), mbali na mila ,tamaduni katika nchi au jamiina mengine.

Lakini hivyo hivyo usishangae siku moja ukamkuta yuko na mtu mwingine. Swali la kujiuliza ni kwamba, kwa nini wanandoa(wapenzi) wanachepuka? suluhu, hiki ndicho nilichopanga kuzungumzia siku  leo. Kwa wanandoa(wapenzi)  nitaainisha baadhi ya mambo ambayo kwa uchunguzi wangu nimebaini ndiyo yanayochangia kuchepuka kwa  wanandoa (wapenzi) walio wengi kuchepuka, wawe wako kwenye ndoa au uhusiano wa kawaida.

sababu ni hizi;

TAMAA ZA KIMWILI NA PESA Tamaa hasa ya pesa imekuwa ikiwashawishi watu kushindwa kujizuia kuwasaliti wapenzi wao. Kwa wale ambao wako kwenye ndoa wakati mwingine hasa wanawake wasipopatiwa mahitaji yao muhimu na akatokea jamaa na kumhakikishia kwamba atampatia kila anachotaka, wanakubali mara moja bila kujua kwamba wao ni wake za watu ama wapenzi wa watu na kujikuta wanajenga mazoea. Wengine wanapatiwa kila kitu na waume zao lakini sasa kinachotokea ni tamaa za kimwili tu ambazo zinawasumbua na kujikuta wanatafuta wanaume wengine huku wakidai kuwa wanatafuta ladha tofauti.

Hili si kwa wanawake tu hata wanaume pia, unaweza kumkuta ana mwanamke bomba tu mwenye kila kigezo, lakini bado anakuwa na tamaa za kutafuta kimwana mwingine nje.
TABIA ZISIZORIDHISHA 
Hapa wapo  wale  ambao wanaishi  maisha  ya  ajabu  sana, yaani wanaishi  katika(ndani) ya  ndoa  ama  wapo ndani ya uhusiano  wakielekea kwenye kuoana lakini  hawaaminiani  kabisa,  kila mtu anakuwa  na wasiwasi  juu ya mwenzake.     Afadhali  sasa  iwe kutokuaminiana  tu  lakini hapa  wapenzi  wanakuwa  hawasalitiani. 

Kuna wale ambao  ni  wazi  hawatulii  katika  mahusiano yao, yaani matendo yao (tabia)  tu  yanaonesha  dhahiri kabisa  kwamba, uaminifu  ni sifuri. Kuwa  kari bu sana  na  watu  wa  jinsia tofauti na  tabia ya kuwa na mawasiliano nao ya siri au mwanamke anapomuwekea  mumewe  vikwazo  katika  tendo la ndoa  chumbani (sex) anatarajia  akafanye wapi  na nani?  Kama  siyo kumwambia akatafute   wengine nje?    Hii ndiyo maana  wapenzi wenye tabia wanaowanyima  unyumba waume zao hata wanaposikia  kwamba  wanasalitiwa  wanakuwa hawana  nguvu ya kuwashutumu wapenzi wao, utamshutumuje wakati wewe humtimizii  katika mambo flani? Si hivyo tu, kwa upandea wa wanaume  nao  (baadhi )wengine wamekuwa  wakiwasusa  wake zao na kukaa  siku mbili au wiki na  zaidi  bila kuonekana nyumbani  hata kama atarudi nyumbani  basi  usiku  wa manane akiwa amelewa nawew  hana  mpango kabisa wa mapenzi  na mke wake,katika mazingira hayo  unadhani  nini  kinaweza kutokea kama siyo mwanamke kutafuta mwanaume atakayempatia mapenzi? Na mume kuoa mkee mwengine .
KUWEPO  KWA MAPENZI YA KILAGHAI(uonngo).

Tunapozungumzia  mapenzi  tunaweza  kuyagawanya  katika makundi mawili, mapenzi ya kweli na mapenzi ya uongo. Walio katika  mahusiani au mapenzi ya kweli huwezi  kuwasikia wamesalitiana. Ila wale walio katika mapenzi ya kudanganyana tabia ya kusalitiana  ni  kitu cha kawaida  kwao na hivyo  kujikuta kila siku wakifumaniana.
UDHAIFU  KWA WAPENZI 
Udhaifu  ambao umezungumziwa  hapa  ni  ule  wa kimaumbile (big dick) ambao hata hivyo na wataalam wa masuala ya mapenzi wanaeleza  kwamba, haiwezi kuchukuliwa kama ni miongoni  mwa  sababu  ya  kumsaliti  mpenzi wako uliyempenda kwa dhati. Kwa mfano, mwanaume unakuwa ‘Functionless’ yaani jogoo hawiki (tatizo ambalo si la kujitakia)  na  mke wake  hayuko tayari kuendelea  kuwa  naye  hivyo kulazimika  kuomba  talaka.  Lakini mwanaume anakuwa  mgumu  wa  kutoa  talaka  kutokana  na jinsi anavyompenda.

Wengi  wao wanachokifanya  ni  kuendelea  kuwa  katika  ndoa huku  wakiangalia uwezekano  wa kuanzisha au kuwa na  uhusiano  na  mtu  mwingine  wa  nje. Kwa wanawake  nao yawezekana kuwa  mwanamke hazai (tatizo  ambalo si la kujitakia pia na mwanaume anahitaji mtoto, atakachokifanya  ni kutoka(kuchepuka) nje ya ndoa yao  kwa siri lakini pia inaweza kufikia hatua mwanamke akagundua. Kwa  kifupi  ni kwamba ni c hanzo, kusalitiana kwa wanandoa  wengi  kumekuwa  kukitokea kutokana na  kuwepo  kwa mazingira fulani  ambayo  hupelekea kuwa  baadhi yao wamekuwa  wakishindwa  kujizuia nayo  na hivyo kujikuta  wanatoka  nje  ya mahusiano yao.

SULUHISHO

Ila sasa  na lazimika kwa nguvu zote  kuwashauri  wale  walio  katika  uhusiano wa kimapenzi, namaanisha  wapenzi wa kawaida, na  wachumba  pamoja  na wanandoa, tusiwe  na tamaa za kijinga na kufikia hatua ya kuwasaliti  wapenzi wetu. Hivi unajisikiaje unapomvulia  nguo  mtu  ambaye wala hana ‘future’ na wewe? Hivi  na wewe ukifanyiwa hivyo  na  mpenzi  wako  utajisikiaje? Sasa elewa yakuwa maumivu utakayoyapata  pale  utakaposikia mpenzi wako ana uhusiano  na  Fulani  ni hayohayo atakayoyasikia mwenza (mpenzi)  wako.

NI  kuwa  muaminifu, kuridhika  na unachokipata  kwake, muoneshe mapenzi ya dhati naye  atafanya hivyohivyo  na wote kujikuta  mnayafurahia  maisha yenu. Mfano, jadilini na kutatua matatizoyenu, kwa  pamoja  mipango  yenu ya familia, maendeleo, hali inayoleta mapenzi yenu  kuwa na furaha  na kulinda ndoa.