Where Do Zodiac Signs Come From? Here's the True History Behind Your Horoscope

s the summer officially begins, with the Summer Solstice occurring in the Northern Hemisphere on Thursday, those who enjoy Western astrology will be checking out their Summer Solstice horoscopes to try to use the stars to figure out what the season might have in store.

While some horoscopes sites may promise predictions based on the “movement” of the stars, it’s important to remember that it’s the Earth that’s moving, not the stars. The reason why stars look like they’re moving, both throughout the night and over the course of the year, is because the Earth rotates on its axis and orbits around the Sun. But, before most humans knew that, they spent a lot of time thinking about what was happening up there in the sky.

So, though astrology — looking for answers, signs and predictions in the movements of the celestial bodies —isn’t itself a science, there’s a long history of humans looking up at the stars to plan their lives. Farmers used the skies as a calendar as long ago as Ancient Egyptians, when the rising of Sirius, the Dog Star, around mid-July, was seen as a marker of the imminent annual flooding of the Nile. Travelers used the skies as a compass, following the stars to know where to go. And many people used the skies as a source of mystical direction, too.

But who first looked up at the sky to make sense of what was happening down on the ground and why their fellow humans were behaving in certain ways? Exactly who came up with this way of thinking and when is unclear, but historians and astronomers do know a bit about how it got so popular today.

Where did zodiac signs come from?

The stars are just one of the many things in the natural world that human beings have turned to for answers over the years.

“We don’t really know who first came up with the idea for looking at things in nature and divining influences on humans,” says astronomer Sten Odenwald, the director of Citizen Science at the NASA Space Science Education Consortium. “There’s some indication that cave art shows this idea that animals and things can be imbued with some kind of spirit form that then has an influence on you, and if you appease that spirit form, then you will have a successful hunt. That was taken over by the idea of divination, where you can actually look at things in nature and study them carefully, such as tea-leaf reading.”

Some form of astrology shows up in various belief systems in ancient cultures.

In Ancient China, noblemen looked at eclipses or sunspots as portents of good or bad times for their emperor, though it’s thought that those signs had less application to the lives of other individuals. (Odenwald points out that in societies where people in the lower classes had less control over their lives, divination could seem pointless.) The Sumarians and Babylonians, by around the middle of the second millennium BC, appeared to have had many divination practices — they looked at spots on the liver and the entrails of animals, for example — and their idea that watching planets and stars was a way to keep track of where gods were in the sky can be traced to The Venus tablet of Ammisaduqa. This tablet, which is dated to the first millennium BC and tracks the motion of Venus, is one of the earliest pieces of what’s been called Babylonian planetary omens. The ancient Egyptians contributed the idea that patterns of stars made up constellations, through which the sun appears to “move” at a specific times during the year.

It’s thought that all of these ideas came together when Alexander the Great conquered Egypt around 330 BC.

“There must have been a lot of exchange that got the Greeks on-board with the idea of divination using planets,” says Odenwald, and because they were deep into mathematics and logic, they worked out a lot of the rules for how this could work.”

 FREEMASONRY OATHS 

by Sixberty Manson 

K

Freemasonry Oaths

The obligation of a first degree Freemason (Entered Apprentice degree):

“Binding myself under no less a penalty than that of having my throat cut across, my tongue torn out by its roots, and buried in the rough sands of the sea at low-water mark, where the tide ebbs and flows twice in twenty four hours, should I ever knowingly or willingly violate this my solemn oath and obligation as an Entered Apprentice Mason. So help me God, and keep me steadfast in the due performance of the same.”

The obligation of a second degree Freemason (Fellowcraft degree):

“Binding myself under no less a penalty than that of having my left breast torn open, my heart plucked out, and given as a prey to the wild beasts of the field and the fowls of the air as a prey.”

The obligation of a third degree Freemason (Master Mason degree):

“Binding myself under no less a penalty than that of having my body severed in two, my bowels taken from thence and burned to ashes, the ashes scattered to the four winds of heaven, so that no more trace or remembrance may be had of so vile and perjured a wretch as I, should I ever knowingly or willingly violate this my solemn obligation as a Master Mason. So help me God, and keep me steadfast in the due performance of the same.”

No Christian has the right to bind himself to such wickedness. He is the Lord’s unique possession and his body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. The Bible says, “Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

The believer is under Divine ownership, being the peculiar possession of the Lord Jesus Christ. He has therefore no right to subject himself to such mutilating curses. 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 says, “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.”

Like every other word of instruction and every aspect of ceremony within Freemasonry, the penalties are designed to instil great fear within the candidate, so binding his conscience to the Order. The Bible says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love” (I John 4:18).

Professing believers within Freemasonry must repent of this bondage and separate themselves from such sin, renouncing any fear or anxiety that may develop from addressing such a crucial decision. The Bible states, “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father” (Romans 8:14-15).

I would recommend a sound compelling book written by the great revivalist Charles Finney who was a former Freemason (The Character, Claims And Practical Workings Of Freemasonry):

English Freemasonry has been so embarrassed, over recent years, with the public exposure of its wicked curses that it has now omitted these penalties from its Order. The debate started in 1979 when the head of English Masonry, the Duke of Kent, confessed his own “definite sensation of repugnance” over the penalties, and “the distasteful aspect of calling upon God to witness an Oath which is scarcely practical and certainly barbarous.” In May 1986 the Masonic Grand Lodge of England reluctantly dropped these penalties, stating they gave “ready material for attack by our enemies and detractors” (‘Inside the Brotherhood’ p. 64).

This decision seemed enforced and was certainly not repeated throughout the Masonic world.

These are crude but real curses upon the membership that unite them in a dark common blood bond. Believers must surely see that for a child of God to submit himself to such profane bondage is sin, and sin clearly dishonours Christ. The Bible admonishes the Christian: “Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt” (Colossians 4:6).

The debased language in these vows clearly violates the teaching of Scripture. Ephesians 4:29-30 says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.”

The revival preacher Charles G. Finney in his book ‘Character and Claims of Freemasonry’ alludes to such curses, stating: “The penalty for violating this oath is monstrous, barbarous, savage, and is utterly repugnant to all laws of morality, religion or decency” (p. 35). He then pointedly addresses those involved in such sin: “If they can see no sin in taking and administering such oaths under such penalties, they have succeeded, whether intentionally or not, in rendering themselves utterly blind, as regard the moral character of their conduct…they have put out their own eyes” (p. 59).

No lecturer or administrator involved in this ceremony can shirk his responsibility in imposing these awful curses. He can never argue that they are just mere words. Such barbarous, bloodthirsty language is an anathema to holy living and an offence to a thrice-holy God.

Jesus said “every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgement. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned” (Matthew 12:36-37).

Those men who are charged with conferring these penalties are responsible, before God, for placing curses upon many individual lives. James 3:8-10 declares, “The tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.”

Those within the Order who confer such curses must carefully analyse the damage they are inflicting upon others. For those who profess the Name of Christ they must reflect upon the obvious spiritual injury they are causing themselves. Separated believers must ask if it is right to have fellowship with such people, since Scripture gives the clear instruction: “If any man teach otherwise, and consent not to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to godliness; He is proud, knowing nothing, but doting about questions and strifes of words, whereof cometh envy, strife, railings, evil surmisings, Perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself” (1 Timothy 6:3-5).

The true child of God can have nothing to do with such profane behaviour. I Peter 1:15-16 says, “But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; because it is written, Be ye holy, for I am holy.”

I would recommend a very compelling book written by Masonic authority E. M. Storms called Should a Christian be a Mason?

THE ELEVEN RULES OF SATANISM

The Eleven Rules of Satanism 

Sixberty manson  

Church of Satan reverend  explains why he has no interest in worshipping the devil?

Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

Do not harm little children.

Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

THE DEVIL AND WITCHES

The Devil and Hell 

SIXBERTY MANSON 

Perhaps the most lasting images of the Devil are associated with Hell, which the Bible refers to as a place of everlasting fire prepared for the Devil and his angels. Still, the Bible doesn’t state the Devil will reign over hell, just that he’ll eventually be banished there.

The idea that the Devil governs hell may have come from the poem by Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy, published in the early fourteenth century. In it, God created hell when he threw the Devil and his demons out of Heaven with such power they created an enormous hole in the center of the earth.

In his poem, Dante portrayed the Devil as a grotesque, winged creature with three faces—each chewing on a devious sinner—whose wings blew freezing cold winds throughout hell’s domain.

The Bible doesn’t describe the Devil in detail. Early artistic interpretations of The Divine Comedy featuring shocking images of the Devil and his demons inflicting almost unimaginable human suffering only emboldened people’s thoughts about hell and the Devil.

And by the end of the Middle Ages, the Devil had taken on the appearance of the horned, trident-wielding figure with a tail that has endured to modern times.

The Devil and Witches 

Fear of the Devil is at least partially responsible for the witchcraft hysteria of Europe and New England in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries. Protestants and Catholics accused many people of practicing witchcraft and making deals with the Devil.

The Puritans living in New England’s early colonies were petrified of the Devil. They believed he gave powers to witches to those faithful to him. This fear gave rise to the infamous Salem Witch Trials in Salem, Massachusetts.

The Puritan’s strict lifestyle, their fear of outsiders, and their terror of so-called “Devil’s magic” led them to accuse at least 200 people of witchcraft between 1692 and 1693—twenty of the accused were executed.

The Devil in Modern Times 

Religious translations are often controversial. There’s usually some degree of dissent on how to interpret early texts, and texts about the Devil are no exception.

Even so, throughout history, the Devil’s reputation as an evil-doer hasn’t changed much. Most Christians still believe he’s literally transformed the world and is responsible for much of the world’s corruption and chaos.

Not all religions shun the Devil, though. People of the Church of Satan, known as Satanists, don’t worship the Devil, but embrace him as a symbol of atheism, pride and liberty, among other things. Another type of Satanists, theistic Satanists, worship the Devil as a deity. They may practice Satanic rituals or even make Satanic pacts.

THE DEVIL

THE DEVIL

(By Sixberty Manson)

The Devil, also referred to as Satan, is best known as the nemesis of good people everywhere. His image and story have evolved over the years, but this malevolent being—and his legion of demons—continue to strike fear in people from all walks of life as the antithesis of all things good.

The Devil in the Bible 

Although the Devil is present in some form in many religions and can be compared to some mythological gods, he’s arguably best known for his role in Christianity. In modern biblical translations, the Devil is the adversary of God and God’s people.

It’s commonly thought that the Devil first showed up in the Bible in the book of Genesis as the serpent who convinced Eve—who then convinced Adam—to eat forbidden fruit from the “tree of the knowledge” in the Garden of Eden. As the story goes, after Eve fell for the Devil’s conniving ways, she and Adam were banished from the Garden of Eden and doomed to mortality.

Many Christians believe the Devil was once a beautiful angel named Lucifer who defied God and fell from grace. This assumption is often based the book of Isaiah in the Bible which says, “How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations.”

Devil Names 

Some biblical scholars, however, claim Lucifer isn’t a proper name but a descriptive phrase meaning “morning star.” Still, the name stuck and the Devil is often referred to as Lucifer.

Names for the Devil are numerous: Besides Lucifer, he may be referred to as the Prince of Darkness, Beelzebub, Mephistopheles, Lord of the Flies, the Antichrist, Father of Lies, Moloch or simply Satan.

The book of Ezekiel includes another Biblical passage Christians refer to as proof of the Devil’s existence. It admonishes the greedy King of Tyre but also refers to the king as a cherub who was once in the Garden of Eden. As a result, some Bible translators believe the King of Tyre was a personification of the Devil.

The Devil make more appearances in the Bible, especially in the New Testament. Jesus and many of his apostles warned people to stay alert for the Devil’s cunning enticements that would lead them to ruin. And it was the Devil who tempted Jesus in the wilderness to “fall down and worship him” in exchange for riches and glory.

The Devil in Other Religions 

Most other religions and cultures teach of an evil being who roams the earth wreaking havoc and fighting against the forces of good. In Islam, the devil is known as Shaytan and, like the Devil in Christianity, is also thought to have rebelled against God. In Judaism, Satan is a verb and generally refers to a difficulty or temptation to overcome instead of a literal being.

In Buddhism, Maara is the demon that tempted Buddha away from his path of enlightenment. Like Christianity’s Jesus resisted the Devil, Buddha also resisted temptation and defeated Maara.

In people of almost any religion or even in those who don’t follow a religion, the Devil is almost always synonymous with fear, punishment, negativity and immorality.

SPECTRUM OF MEANING

                       SPECTRUM OF MEANING 

                                                          By  SIXBERTY MANSON

There are no “good” cards or “bad” cards; they all have a spectrum of meaning.  Here are some thoughts about positive aspects of a card that is typically seen as being negative.

In our culture the word “devil” has such a universally bad rap that this card is exceptionally hard for most people to interpret in anything other than a negative way.  However, like any other card, it can come up in a reading in a positive position such as “What can help you” or “What is the benefit of this situation” … so what do you do then?

To consider this question adequately, we need to explore the wide range of implications for the Devil card.  For instance, we need to deal with the obvious symbols of the Devil, Hell, and demons in general.  There are also this card’s metaphorical implications of materialism, addictions, and obsession.  We need to see how these meanings can lead us to positive interpretations for this card.  The easy way out is to say that this card presents excellent advice through the warnings of bad examples.  There is, of course, more, as we shall see.  In addition, though, this card does have the positive traditional implications of humor and mirth, and it is associated with Capricorn, which is about ambition and hard work.  We’ll look at those interpretations as well.

THE DEVIL

Consider all the famous phrases and proverbs that incorporate the word “Devil” (along with variations on it and associated terms, such as demons).  Here are a few:

* The Devil made me do it.
* Playing Devil’s advocate
* Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t
* The Devil is in the details.
* Give the devil his due. (This means that we should admit the good qualities of even a bad or undeserving person.) [Ref: William Shakespeare, Henry IV, Part I, Act I, scene 2.]
*  The creative urge is the demon that will not accept anything second rate. — Agnes de Mille
* Have a “devil may care” attitude!

Hell:

Consider all the famous phrases and proverbs that incorporate the word “Hell”.  Here are a few:

* The road to hell is paved with good intentions. (Paraphrased from Bernard of Clairvaux)
* When you’re going through Hell, keep going. — Winston Churchill
* The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. — John Milton
* There will be hell to pay.

Again, these sayings suggest interpretations for this card that may be good advice (ex: “When you’re going through Hell, keep going.”) or at least somewhat neutral (ex: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”).

Demons:

As noted above, we often project our demons onto others.  As Rumi said, “Many of the faults you see in others are your own nature reflected in them.”  Thus this card contains the helpful advice that we can discover what our faults are by seeing what really pisses us off about other people. This is valuable because you can’t fix a fault if you don’t know you have it.  To help your understanding of a message like this, look to the surrounding cards in the reading to see what the issues may be that need to be addressed.  For example, if there are a lot of Pentacle cards around, it may be financial issues.  If cups, maybe relationship issues.

Similarly, the Devil card contains the advice to face our demons head on. Indeed, they are often more in our heads than in our lives, and it helps to realize that and come to grips with it.  On the other hand, this card also contains a warning about running around fighting the demons of the world.  As Friedrich Nietzsche said, “Be careful when you fight monsters, lest you become one.”

These sayings suggest interpretations for this card that may be good advice (ex: “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.”) or at least neutral (ex: “Playing Devil’s advocate”).

Consider also that Christianity incorporated aspects of Dionysus, Pan, and Cernunnos—the old gods of earthiness, fruitfulness and sensuality—into the essence of the Devil.  Sometimes we should see the more positive traits of these old gods still lurking around in the Devil card.  This association says that there is also freedom, earthiness, sensuality, and spontaneity in the Devil card.

This card may also indicate someone who we consider to be evil, in which case we should look deeper, for those who we see in that way are often merely reflecting our own shadow issues.  We don’t want to look at that part of our subconscious that is our shadow, so we project it onto others.  And since we don’t want to acknowledge it in ourselves, we are repelled by those shadow traits when we see them in other peoples precisely because we are trying to deny them in ourselves.  So this card, when it seems to be indicating someone else in your life, may be saying that this person is one of your best teachers.  They are a mirror showing you what you need to work on in yourself.  They are a blessing in disguise, for they show you where you need to work on yourself.  As a corollary to this interpretation, the Devil card also holds the advice to deal with your own demons before you try to condemn them in others.

The power of our shadow

Again, the Devil card can represent our shadow issues.  It advises us to face them, and in doing so, we can find great power hidden there.  There is a lot of strength in our shadow, strength that we cannot effectively access until we face these issues and own up to them.  Sometimes our addictions and obsessions with things like food, drugs, or personal relationships imply that we are in touch with a great deal of energy that our selfish, self-centered ego wants to misdirect inward (i.e., selfishly).  And so this card’s advice may be to understand that power and then find a positive way to redirect it.  Truly, to reach enlightenment, we have to see who we are without condemning ourselves; we have to discover, face, and integrate our unconscious shadow into our consciousness and thereby become a whole person.

Temptation:

The Devil is traditionally seen as the source of temptation, which is thus a concept integral to this card.  The following is a discussion of temptation from my book, The Soul’s Journey:

NJE YA BOX ( KUCHEPUKA)

OUTSIDE BOX (NJE YA BOX)
KUCHEPUKA 
By Sixberty Manson 

Moral standard za ndoa sasa zimeshuka kiasi kwamba
si ajabu tena kuona bibi harusi na vazi la harusi huku ana mimba kubwa!

Karibu watu wote wanaokamatwa na suala la kutokuwa waaminifu katika ndoa zao hukubali kwamba ni kweli wamekosea na wengine husema ni shetani tu aliwaingia.
Tafiti zinaonesha kwamba katika jamii yoyote duniani asilimia 25 ya wanaume huchepuka nje ya ndoa zao na asilimia 10 ya wanawake hukiri kuchepuka kwenye ndoa zao hii haina maana wanandoa wenzao hujua suala ni kwamba huwa wanakiri kwamba wamewahi kutoka nje ya ndoa zao.

NINI HUSABABISHA WENGI KUCHEPUKA

Kutoridhika na ndoa zao idara zote na kuanza kutafuta mtu wa nje ili kuridhishwa.

Matatizo ya familia.
Wengine hujikuta amempenda mtu mwingine.

Kutengana kwa muda mrefu mume na mke inaweza kuwa masomo au kazi nk.

Kushuka kwa kiwango cha kiroho cha wanandoa.
Kuhitaji kuridhishwa zaidi kimapenzi; kuna watu wana libido la ajabu!
Kutafuta Kujiamini na kutambuliwa kwamba yeye ni nani katika jamii
Kuikata kweli ya Neno la Mungu.

Ukaidi na uhuni.
Hitaji la kupendwa baada ya kutelekezwa.
Kuzaliwa mtoto wa kwanza katika ndoa; Feelings za kumpa mume huhamia kwa mtoto na wanandoa hujikuta wapo emotionally distant.


NINI HUSABABISHA WENGI KUGOMA KUCHEPUKA.

Kujitoa kwa ndoa na kulinda ahadi na agano (covenant)
Kuaminiana kwa wanandoa.

Sababu ya dini yaani wokovu (uhusiano binafsi wa mwanandoa na Mungu).

Kuogopa matokeo ya kuchepuka kama vile magonjwa (UKIMWI) na crisis zingine.

Kujifahamu na kukomaa kiakili na Kujiamini.

Kupenda mke na watoto na kuwapa heshima iliyotukuka na kuishi kwa mfano kimatendo na kimaneno.

Uadilifu (moral standard)

Linapokuja suala la ndoa au mahusiano huu usemi wa kingereza usemao “How Far is too Far’ una maana kwamba je, ni namna gani au utajuaje au ni kufanya kitu gani hueleza kwamba hujawa mwaminifu kwa mke wako au mume wako.
Kujua hujawa mwaminifu ni pale kile unafanya au yale unaongea na mwanaume mwingine au mwanamke mwingine huwezi kumwambia mke wako au mume wako.

MFANO
Jeffy ni kijana smart sana kazini na nyumbani na kwa sasa anajiona yupo bored nyumbani hasa kutokana na yale yanayoendelea katika maisha na mkewe Jane.
Hivyo anaamua kutaniana na kujihusisha zaidi na mwanamke anayeitwa Lily ambaye ni mfanyakazi mwenzake ofisini.
Katika kutaniana kwao urafiki unazaliwa na wanajikuta wanakuwa muda mwingi pamojana kuvutiana zaidi; sasa iwe lunch, au kinywaji baada ya muda wa kazi Jeffy yupo na Lily.

Baada ya siku na miezi kadhaa wanajiona karibu zaidi na Jeffy anajikuta anamwambia Lily siri zake za nyumbani na mkewe na Lily naye anamwambia Jeffy siri ambazo hajawahi kumwambia mtu yeyote.
Sasa wakikutana wakiwa wawili ni kupeana kisses na hugs kwa kwenda mbele ingawa bado hawajavuliana nguo.
Yote haya yanapotokea Jeffy hajamweleza mke wake.

Je, Jeffy amekuwa si mwaminifu kwa mke wake? Au kwa ndoa yake?
Je ungekuwa wewe ni Jeffy ungemwambia mke wako huo urafiki na mwanamke Lily?
Au ungekuwa ni mwanamke Lily ambaye umeolewa Ungemwambia mume wako urafiki wako na Jeffy?

KUKOSA UAMINIFU KATIKA NDOA NI NINI?
Kukosa uaminifu katika ndoa ni utendaji unaoanzia ndani ya moyo kuvunja trust na ahadi ya ndoa kimwili, kiakili, kimawazo na kihisia na siri zote za ndoa.
Ni kuvunja agano na pia ni kumsaliti mwenzi wako.

Je, unaweza kujihusisha na mtu mwingine nje ya ndoa kihisia na ukabaki mwaminifu kwa ndoa yako?

Jibu ni hapana kwani ulipokubali kuoana naye ulikubali kwamba mtakuwa mwili mmoja (one flesh); kuwa mwili mmoja ni pamoja na emotions, feelings, mawazo na maisha yote ya ndoa kwa ujumla.
Unatakiwa kuwa kwa mwenzi wako kimawazo na kimwili.

Uzinzi wa emotions upo serious sawa na ule wa kimwili
“Mmesikia kwamba ilinenwa, ‘Usizini'.
Lakini mimi nawaambia: kwamba ye yote amtazamaye mwanamke kwa kumtamani, amekwisha kuzini naye moyoni mwake.
(Mathayo 5:27-28)

Uzinzi ni sehemu ya infidelity ( kukosa uaminifu katika ndoa) infidelity ni kutimiza hitaji la mwili na hisia nje ya ndoa wakati adultery ni sex nje ya ndoa.

Kama ninyi ni wachumba na mmoja si mwaminifu huo unaitwa ni uasherati na ni vizuri kuachana kwani mchumba asiyemwaminifu huja kuwa mwanandoa asiyemwaminifu.

Washauri wa mambo ya ndoa wanafahamu fika kwamba katika matatizo mengi ya wanandoa suala la kukosa uaminifu (infidelity) kawaida ni nusu ya matatizo yote katika ndoa.

Ujue au usijue kwamba kuna kuchepuka metokea katika ndoa yako ukweli unabaki kwamba matokeo ya mwanandoa mmoja kuchepuka nje ya ndoa yake ni mabaya sana kwa yeye mwenyewe, ndoa yake na huweza kuleta crisis kubwa ya familia na hata jamii kama si taifa.
Fikiria suala la UKIMWI tu.

VITUKO VYA KUCHEPUKA NJE YA NDOA.

Kawaida mwanandoa anayechepuka akikamatwa na kupewa talaka mara nyingi hawezi kuoana na yule aliyekamatwa naye.
Hivyo kama upo kwenye affair na mwanaume wa mtu au mke wa mtu kumbuka kwamba hupati point yoyote au kukuongezea uwezekano wa yeye kuoana na wewe ikitokea amepata talaka.

Affair ni dalili za huzuni iliyopo kwa wanandoa na maana yake mmoja anakosa hisia sahihi kwa mwenzake na matokeo yake husukumwa kuchepuka nje na akishachepuka huongeza matatizo mengine zaidi ya ndoa kama vile kuchelewa kurudi nyumbani, matumizi ya pesa na magonjwa.

Si sahihi kwamba kuwa na affair ni kupata great sex, kutoka nje ni vibaya kwa sababu ni kweli kwenye ndoa kuna great sex na "we need to spread the word" kwamba kwenye ndoa sex ni tamu zaidi.

Si kweli kwamba mwanandoa anayechepuka hufuata mwanamke mrembo zaidi kuliko aliyekwenye ndoa yake au mwanaume maridadi zaidi kuliko aliye kwenye ndoa yake, wengi huvutwa na feelings zile wanakosa ndani ya ndoa zao.

Affair nyingi zina base kwenye urafiki na kuungana kihisia na sharing ya siri na feelings mbalimbali na wakati mwingine sex huwa si sababu ya kuwa na affair bali urafiki wa karibu kwa jinsia tofauti.

Tamaduni nyingi humwangalia vibaya mwanamke kuliko mwanaume linapokuja suala la mwanandoa kuchepuka nje.

Kubwa zaidi ni kwamba uwezekano wa kutolewa talaka ni pale mwanamke akionekana ametoka nje ya ndoa (cheating) kuliko mwanaume akitoka nje ya ndoa.

DALILI KWAMBA ANACHEPUKA.

Dalili za mwanaume anayechepuka

1. ANATUMIA MUDA MWINGI NJE NA NYUMBANI
Huwezi kuwatumikia mabwana wawili kwa wakati mmoja na kila mmoja ukampa muda sawa, it is impossible.
Wengi huanza kubadilika na kukwepa kuwepo nyumbani na mke wake hata kabla ya affair (astray).
Mwanaume kutumia muda mwingine nje ya nyumbani haina maana kwamba ana-cheat bali inaweza kuwa dalili kwamba ana cheat hasa kukiwa na dalili zingine.
Hata hivyo ukigundua mapema unaweza kuzuia na kuepuka maumivu ya cheating.
Wakati mwingine “hawa wanaume” huwafunga kamba wake zao kwamba
“Nikitaka kutoka nje, naweza hata muda wa kawaida hivyo nikichelewa haina maana na-cheat”
uwe makini na huo usemi kwani ukweli ni kwamba wanaume wengi hutumia muda wa ziada na si muda wa kazi kufanya cheating zao.
Ukiona mume ana dalili za kukwepa kuwepo nyumbani kama ilivyokuwa kawaida, basi inabidi uwe makini na kuchunguza kujua nini kinaendelea.

NINI CHA KUFANYA:
Ni vizuri kukaa pamoja na kujadili pamoja kuangalia kama kuna issues ambazo haridhiki nazo zirekebishwe haraka ili arudi kwenye mstari.

Pia jiulize:
Je, hapo nyumbani kuna amani, heshima, upendo, na utulivu?
Na je, namna unaongea na mume wako kuna respect? Au ni kulalamika, hasira, huzuni na yeye anajiona ni failure na loser?
Inawezekana huko anaenda kunampa kile anakikosa hapo nyumbani au kwako wewe mke.

2. TENDO LA NDOA MARA CHACHE
Kupunguza kwa kiwango cha sex kati ya mke na mume ni dalili mojawapo kwamba kuna kitu hakipo sahihi na mojawapo inaweza kuwa mume anachepuka kwa “yule mwanamke”.
Pia unaweza kuijua hii dalili mapema na ukazuia huzuni kutokea katika ndoa yako kwa kupiga gia ya reverse kwa kuongeza frequency za sex kati yako na mumeo.
Wapo ambao ni wajanja zaidi ambao huendelea na sex kama kawaida ili wasishtukiwe hata hivyo kutokana na kuwekeza kwa “yule mwanamke” automatically akiwa na mke wake hamu hupungua na matokeo ni kupungua kwa uhitaji na kiwango cha sex hushuka.

NINI CHA KUFANYA:
Kwanza jiulize swali hili:
Je, kiwango cha sex ni mara chache kuliko kawaida? Kama ni chini ya kiwango ni vizuri wewe mwanamke pia kulianzisha uone nini kinatokea.
Kama mwanamke Jitahidi kutengeneza mazingira ambayo yatakufanya usijisikie kuchoka sana na kama inawezekana unaweza kumuomba mume wako kukusaidia kazi ndogondogo za pale nyumbani.
Pia fikiria ni kitu gani unaweza kuongeza (kipya) ili kuimarisha sex na kama inawezekana mnaweza kwenda nje ya hapo nyumbani kwa ajili ya kuwa na intimacy zaidi.

3. ANAANZA KUKUKWEPA WEWE MWENYEWE MKE WAKE
Anaweza kukukwepa kwa njia zile mnatumia kuwasiliana iwe mchana au usiku huanza kupunguza.
Unaweza kujikuta simu hazijibiwi, sms hazipewi majibu na mara simu imefungwa.
Kama ana simu ya mkononi anaanza kutembea nayo hadi anapenda kuoga, anapoi-charge kama ni nyumbani basi ataisimamia kama FBI wanaomsimamia terrorist aliyekamatwa kabla ya kujilipua.
Na kuna simu akiipokea No matter what ataenda kuongelea nje au kwenye uchochoro wowote.
Kama upo makini utajua tu something is not right!
Kikubwa zaidi hapendi kuwa na wewe “closer” kitendo hiki hufanya muwe mbali kihisia.

NINI CHA KUFANYA:
Jaribu kuchunguza kama simu unazompigia sinamsumbua kazini au ni jeuri yake tu na ukorofi kwa sababu ya “yule mwanamke”
Ongea naye namna ya kuwa na muda pamoja kwa kila wiki.
Wakati mwingine mpigie simu ya kumpa appreciation kwa ajili ya kitu chochote amefanya badala ya simu za kulalamika na kumfanya ajione failure na loser.
Kama una hints chunguza simu yake ya mkononi na kama huna hints achana nayo kwani hakuna mwanaume anapenda kutembea huku amefugwa video camera usoni kuchunguzwa kila kona anayopita.

4. ANAKUWA CRITICAL
Alikuwa anapenda mapishi yako, unavyoonekana (sura na maumbile), mapenzi yako, namna unapenda bajeti; ghafla from nowhere anaanza kulalamika na kukulaumu kwa kila unachofanya.
Inawezekana tatizo ni yule mwanamke!
Kiti kidogo kikikosewa inakuwa kama kapatia sababu ya kuanzisha mgogoro au vita ya tatu ya dunia.
Wakati mwingine anaweza kuwa mwonezi.

NINI KIFANYIKE:
Jadili kwa nini mume wako anakuwa critical na wewe muulize kwa upendo bila wewe kuwa critical pia.
Pia jadili kujua tatizo lipo wapi ili lirekebishwe huku wote mkiwa positive.